my saddest letter

Earle,

I don't know where to start. All I know Earle is that you left me hanging out of the blue wondering why all of a sudden you change and become cold. I respect your silence. But the reason was just so vague that I could not help but wonder what went wrong. If you will give me the right to know why, then better, but if you prefer to keep your reasons then I'll understand. I'm just bothered by your inconsistency. But I wont question you more. Lets just pretend then that nothing happens. Pretend that I haven't send you this message & you haven't read this. Lets just forget everything and remain casual to each other, like ordinary acquaintances....


thank you,
irene marie

broken Irene

now what???

all my life I’ve been in pain…

and suddenly someone came into my life and walk away without saying goodbye. And I couldn’t say anything but that it HURTS too much!!!!! Just like the wind he vanish instantly… He left me hanging here in the cold night of November wondering why all of a sudden he became cold and he never bothered to even tell me why…

I wish he knew how much I suffered,…

I thought everything was in the right track!!!

What might possibly gone wrong?!

I could not bare the pain for it wretch my heart

I feel like my heart is torn into pieces and scattered mercilessly into this stupid world full of hurt, pain and regrets and failure.

I can’t sleep every night thinking about possible reasons of his sudden change…

again I cried myself to sleep, because remembering those short times with him really really hurts!!!!!

He said that his intentions were true but what happen???

I keep asking myself this question but I can’t find an answer to any of the questions that pops out of my head… And I can just find myself bursting into tears and I can’t help it….

I was hurt in the heart because I was thinking that that was it… I had set a date..I was looking forward to that day…that day that never happens…that day’s like an eternity….

And since I went back here in the city I spend so many nights thinking of what shall I do!!!! Sometimes he casually greeted me.. Like normal friends do but we’re not supposed to be just normal friends.. And eventually he stopped texting me…

God please give me a reason to go on… to forget and move on… My heart is broken but worst off all my ego was hurt for he didn’t even consider in telling me the truth.. Don’t I deserve it???

I don’t know what to do!!!!

waking up each day filling so hurt distressed me so much!!!!

I don’t know what will happen next… He never even want to sort things out and we could possibly naturally end up everything the way he started it…..

like he can tell me why and I’ll just have to accept no matter how painful it can be for me…I wont ask.I wont insist. I just want to know why…so I can sleep soundly at night!!!!

I don’t know where to go this time..I wanted to be away..I don’t want to see him anymore, for seeing him everyday reminds me of the pain and another failure that’s pulling me down under into a world of gloom and sadness and loneliness!!!

Everyday I feel like I’m becoming a zombie…walking with an empty head with no certain direction but only to the place where I am scheduled to go to and that’s SCHOOL….

But every time I went home I easily feel the same usual grief that I’ve been keeping all along..And it simply weakens me as if there some invisible hand that pulls down my heart down that I myself feels so low and that I also wanted to lay on the ground just to deal with the heaviness that my heart went through every moment I’m home…

I should not be affected this way but it’s here already and there’s no stopping anymore. And like every heartbreak I’d been through I only hope that this will soon fade away….

Earle, I don’t know what had gone wrong?

you the sole person who knows why

but you choose to be quiet…

but your silence just hurts me even more…..

Why didn’t you tell me??

why do you have to left me hanging here??

why didn’t you ever think that you had

already left a promise

and I had believe in you but

YOU emerged to be different…

WHY????????????????????????????

Do you know how painful is it for me????

why me Earle???

of all the girls out there,,, WHY ME????????

I’ve been broken so many times…

I’ve been broken all along

and then you came and shattered me again

into vulnerable pieces…….

leaving me so drown into this dark pit full

of questions and no answers!!!!!!

I wish You knew that I was almost there….

so close…

so close….

so close to falling in love with you….

and then…..

and then you’re gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this isn't it!!!!

is this another story...
another sad story...
very sad story..
sakit jud au xa....grabeh... no words can express it...y n ani man jud oi.. Lord d jud paq pwede ma happy?/
mag cge na lng jud q cry???
g kapoi naq... la jud ni padulngan... sakt kaau aq heart,,,...again.and again....Lord please spare me....