I am one of the thousands of fan girls giggling in front of their laptop while toes curling and drooling over a Korean guy who sings and raps on stage, who unbuttoned his polo and showed his man abs, setting fire to every girl across the globe and gave off those hypnotizing winks that could melt any foolish heart. And like one of these fan girls wished for, I, too, not just wish, but dream to be by his side and be his wife!
So many times I thought I knew him better than anyone else, but I came to accept the fact that I'm not merely halfway in getting to know the man who made the sun shine the brightest for me. All the internet savvy reports spread on the web like wildfire, any avid fan would not dare miss anything from their bias. I want to have something about him that I only know but is impossible. I shared the one thing I noticed about him and I think it doesn't make sense at all.
Well, the most important thing is that I met him. The man who has become my instant boyfriend, best friend and husband. Though I got to share this man with thousands out there but I know I have something different from them, not to much but enough to make me feel I'm an official die-hard fan of his.
To Choi Minho, you will always be my number one SHINee. I endured a year loveless in the real world and dwell permanently in a world created where there's only me and you and the rest of the imaginary world. Unconsciously I fell in love with your flaming charisma that there's not a day I failed to think of you. Why on Earth did God create a living god like you? You're so out of my reach. I think I would go insane if I have no updates of you. There were times when I silently thought of you, asking myself if you've been eating properly, what time you go to the gym, if you get enough sleep. I just could not get enough of you.
I dream a lot of you since you came to my life. I wonder how it feels like to hear you sing a song to me, to hear you rap, to see you dance "Oh my God". I wonder how it feels like to dance with you, to feel your arms around me, enveloping me in your warm embrace.
I also want to cheer for you during athletic games, I will make a wide and huge banner for you. I will wipe your sweat and give you water. I'll capture every single move you make, every jump, every leap and every smile. I will cheer to my loudest so you can hear.
I dream to laugh with you and hold your face in my hands, I'll trace every corner of the face that makes me fall in love with you, your eyebrows, your eyes, your lashes, your nose, your lips and the contour of you face. I'll ruffle your hair and feel every strand brush through my fingers.
I dream to hold your hand, those long and slender hands that can run electricity through my spine.
I want you to look at me with those eyes that belongs to the gods of Olympus. I want to melt under your gaze and feel the blood rushing to my cheeks.
I want you to know I had defended you so many times against people who said that you could not sing. That you can only rap and does not even do it better. But I heard you sing and rap with all you can and with that you prove them all wrong. SM wont invest in an artist with no future in singing, I believe.
I never saw you cry often, but the time I saw your tears fall, it breaks my heart. I thought that at such a young age you were fully responsible of your life, been to busy with all the promotions alongside your studies. Life for you, I know is not all play. Being famous entails sacrifices, pain and sufferings but you still manage to smile and be grateful to everything and that makes me proud of you.
I can feel that you have a good heart and a beautiful soul. Nurture and nourish it for you will need it as you climb one step higher to success.
My dreams are my realities, if fate permits and they'll come true, I will be truly over joyed. But I am happy to have you this way, unnoticed, yet I know you can feel the love I have for you together with the other avid fan of yours.
I will always be your number one fan and I promise I will never ever turn my back on you, come what may.
Your mere existence is a dream come true to me. I am a proud fan who says you have my heart now, and you'll have it forever even if someone else comes along. Saranghaeyo Minho-sshi~ <3
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